Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Shut out

Things have gotten a little heated between me and my son's school. I've gotten the message to back off and let one of the district staff act on my son's behalf, and so I will. But before I got that message I had arranged to observe my son's classroom. So, I kept my appointment, even though I felt like it was kind of futile.

So today I spent two and a half hours sitting on the sidelines in my son's room. I saw everything the school says - he doesn't finish his work, he's out of sync, his social skills are behind - and I saw everything that I anticipated - he's bored, he hates the work, he craves conversations about ideas, he loves to read and learn. Once I felt like I had seen enough I quietly thanked the teacher, who was busy with transitioning groups of kids, and walked out. I was supposed to meet with the principal but she was out sick, so I just signed out and left.

More than anything I want an email from my son's school. So, what did you think? What did you see? We want to know your opinion. We want your ideas and knowledge about your son.

What I've gotten so far: silence. And I'll continue to have silence. I know it. Because they only contact me at this point to put out fires or respond to my complaints. It's not a partnership anymore - it's adversarial. So there's no way any of them will call or email or solicit my input at all.

It's surprisingly painful to feel shut out. To know that they have him all day, and that they have negative ideas about him. To see the relationship between my and my daughter's teacher begin to frost around the edges because it's a small school, and they all talk.

I hate it.

I've dealt with adversarial parents before professionally, but I had no idea how much pain was behind their reactions.

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